I'm a Realist. And a Perfectionist. This creates many problems for me, as you can imagine. I'm all about sharing examples so that other people "get it" when I'm trying to explain something, but honestly, there's not an example that would make sense to anyone else.
My mom is an optimist. She loves to expect and look for the best - in any situation, in any person, in EVERYthing. I like that about her. In fact, I love that about her! We need optimists in this world. Otherwise, it would feel like it was all going to pot with no chance of redemption. And that's just not the case.
For the realist (at least in my case), I hope for the best and think the best of people, but I mentally and emotionally prepare myself for the worst to happen - just in case. In other words, I try to prepare for disappointment before it happens so that if (or when) it happens I'm ready to deal with the fall out. Sometimes I'll even say, "I knew it. I knew that would happen." Other times I think, "Well, that wasn't what I expected, but at least I am prepared to deal with it."
I can't divulge anything right now, but I've been in the middle of a ... circumstance (for lack of a better word), and I've found myself in the position of Realist. I want the best, and I'm hoping for the best, but I'm also preparing for the worst (or an end that I don't really want).
So where does the Perfectionist part come in?
"Failures" are really, really difficult sometimes! Failures are actually good for us - if we learn from them. I'm choosing to learn, and that's a good thing. What lesson is to be learned? That's yet to be known. The Perfectionist in me says when I've failed I've done something wrong. That's not always the case, but the Perfectionist says, "You didn't do it perfectly. Try again! And this time don't fail!" We can be tough on ourselves.
When I know more about my circumstance I'll share. Or should I say when it ends I'll share? Either way, I'm choosing to be a Realist in the meantime and not let Perfectionism take over and tell me I've failed or faltered. Wish me luck! This could be a loooooong trial. Or not?
Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts
Monday, September 21, 2015
Friday, August 21, 2015
Soapbox
It's a soapbox day today. Are you ready? No? Well, get ready.
There were limited cafeteria options at work today because of some party in the park that an affiliate was hosting (which I never heard about and did not go to), and usually I'm not pleased with work cafeteria food anyway, so I opted to walk across the street to the mall and take my chances at the food court. (And considering yesterday's thoroughly disgusting Chinese food fiasco, this was a mighty feat for a second day.) ANYWAY ...
I got my Mexican food (kind of hard to mess that stuff up) and went to a more quiet corner and sat where I could people watch while aimlessly surfing the apps on my phone. The apps got boring quickly, so I ate lunch while I people watched. Great fun. If you've never sat back and watched people you should try it some time. It can get pretty comical. When I'm with good friends who are also people watchers, we've made up conversations between the people we're watching. It gets crazy fairly fast. What - that doesn't surprise you? Huh.
My lunch was good, so nothing to complain about there, but as I sat there watching people interact, walk by, get their food, find places to sit, chat with their friends, etc. I had this overwhelming realization that we're all SO different. There were tall people, short people, skinny people, larger people, round shapes, straight sticks, curvy figures, white people, Asian people, Latin people, African people, adults, kids, moms and dads, and everything in between. As I stewed over that realization, I also realized how easily it was to judge them all for one thing or another.
That one is really tall. I wonder how they find pants long enough.
That one is so skinny. I bet they have to buy their clothes in kid's sizes.
That one is so round and curvy. I wonder if they wear "plus sizes" (I hate that term, by the way).
That one is so short. I bet his/her friends tease him/her.
And so on, and so on.
There were also thoughts about fashion (I can't believe they walked out of the house in that! Whoa - that's a short dress. Good grief, those pants look awful on him.) Now, I get that fashion is an individual thing. What some people wear I wouldn't be caught dead in, but I know very well that much of what I wear is too bland for other people. My aunt tells me all the time when we go shopping together to "get some more color" in my clothes. We have much the same coloring, and she looks great in very vibrant colors (I do, too), but I'm just not as comfortable as she is in those colors. I feel like I'm shouting at people with my clothes saying, "Look at ME!", yet that's not what I think when she wears those colors. It's personal preference, you know?
As I'm watching all these people and having all these thoughts go through my mind I started to feel small for "judging" these people without knowing anything else about them. It's not that I was intentionally doing it or even doing it with a negative approach. They were just thoughts that kind of rambled through my head. ("Ye shall know them by their thoughts" ... is that a thing? Because if it is, based on today, uh oh.)
I think what "caused" all of this is, sometimes when I'm not feeling so great about myself, I wonder what people actually think of me. (It's actually rare that I care what anyone else thinks about me. Take me or leave me. What I am is what you get.) Do they think I'm average or kind of pretty? Do they think I'm dressed fashionably or slouchy/frumpy/out-of-date? Do they look at my short pixie hair cut and think I look like a boy/man? Do my ears stick out so they think I look like Dumbo? Is my makeup smearing so they think I look like a raccoon?
SERIOUSLY? Seriously.
Not that I felt about myself that way today, but the thought did cross my mind, and then I wondered how many other people do the same thing. Honestly, this probably all stems from circumstances in my own life where people made fun, pointed, stared, whatever. I remember in junior high a particular instance. I have never been thin (or anything remotely close to it), and as I was walking in the hallways during lunch one day with a friend who weighed a lot more than I did, some very rude and stupid boys yelled, "Hey, it's Shamu and her friend, Shamu, Jr.!" Really guys? Thank heavens for me I've also been witty, so I came back with some snarky remark that shut them up. Those same boys were like that throughout high school. They were cruel to this friend of mine. It stopped with me because they knew I'd be vocal back and point out their worst features without thinking twice. Coping mechanism? Probably. Words work though. Sometimes they're piercing.
And now that this has become a novella, I'll try to get to the point. I realized that as much as I know Heavenly Father loves me, I also know He loves all of His children. ALL of them. Even if they don't know Him or even recognize that He exists. Because He's our Father, He created us as we should be. Sure, we fluctuate in weight, our shape changes as we grow older, our looks become different as we age, but through it all He loves us just as much as He ever did. So who am I to judge what another person is or isn't? Who cares what they're wearing or whether they combed their hair? What does it matter that their personal habits are different than mine? What does height, weight, size or anything else have to do with anything? It doesn't! Heavenly Father sees us as we are now and as we can become. He sees us through "rose colored glasses" (if you will) because He sees our untapped potential as not only human beings, but as His imperfect children.
As lunch wound down, I found that instead of looking at the outward appearances of people, I was looking more inward. I watched the couple sitting across from me with a set of twin girls (about two-years-old) and a young son (about 6 months) as they tried to get their daughters to eat and keep their son happy all while trying to connect in some way over what was probably his short lunch hour. I watched the young girl sitting across from me as she studied out of a text book and wrote notes furiously as she tried to better herself. I watched as friends sat together and talked and laughed and enjoyed each other's company as they caught up on life adventures, sorrows, mishaps, and joys. I saw an older couple help each other to the restrooms, wait for each other to finish, and walk hand-in-hand back through the mall the way they'd come without saying anything at all to each other, and I knew they were still communicating.
I think I got a small glimpse of what our Heavenly Father sees in each one of us: His children doing the best they can with what they've got. The reality is we're much more alike than we are different. Even though we're on similar journeys, we're still on different journeys. And hopefully, somewhere along the way, we're enjoying our journey and not worrying so much about what others think or what society says we need to be.
From now on, I hope I can keep that perspective and, instead of judging those I see, love those I see. I have a sneaky feeling that people watching is going to be much better.
There were limited cafeteria options at work today because of some party in the park that an affiliate was hosting (which I never heard about and did not go to), and usually I'm not pleased with work cafeteria food anyway, so I opted to walk across the street to the mall and take my chances at the food court. (And considering yesterday's thoroughly disgusting Chinese food fiasco, this was a mighty feat for a second day.) ANYWAY ...
I got my Mexican food (kind of hard to mess that stuff up) and went to a more quiet corner and sat where I could people watch while aimlessly surfing the apps on my phone. The apps got boring quickly, so I ate lunch while I people watched. Great fun. If you've never sat back and watched people you should try it some time. It can get pretty comical. When I'm with good friends who are also people watchers, we've made up conversations between the people we're watching. It gets crazy fairly fast. What - that doesn't surprise you? Huh.
My lunch was good, so nothing to complain about there, but as I sat there watching people interact, walk by, get their food, find places to sit, chat with their friends, etc. I had this overwhelming realization that we're all SO different. There were tall people, short people, skinny people, larger people, round shapes, straight sticks, curvy figures, white people, Asian people, Latin people, African people, adults, kids, moms and dads, and everything in between. As I stewed over that realization, I also realized how easily it was to judge them all for one thing or another.
That one is really tall. I wonder how they find pants long enough.
That one is so skinny. I bet they have to buy their clothes in kid's sizes.
That one is so round and curvy. I wonder if they wear "plus sizes" (I hate that term, by the way).
That one is so short. I bet his/her friends tease him/her.
And so on, and so on.
There were also thoughts about fashion (I can't believe they walked out of the house in that! Whoa - that's a short dress. Good grief, those pants look awful on him.) Now, I get that fashion is an individual thing. What some people wear I wouldn't be caught dead in, but I know very well that much of what I wear is too bland for other people. My aunt tells me all the time when we go shopping together to "get some more color" in my clothes. We have much the same coloring, and she looks great in very vibrant colors (I do, too), but I'm just not as comfortable as she is in those colors. I feel like I'm shouting at people with my clothes saying, "Look at ME!", yet that's not what I think when she wears those colors. It's personal preference, you know?
As I'm watching all these people and having all these thoughts go through my mind I started to feel small for "judging" these people without knowing anything else about them. It's not that I was intentionally doing it or even doing it with a negative approach. They were just thoughts that kind of rambled through my head. ("Ye shall know them by their thoughts" ... is that a thing? Because if it is, based on today, uh oh.)
I think what "caused" all of this is, sometimes when I'm not feeling so great about myself, I wonder what people actually think of me. (It's actually rare that I care what anyone else thinks about me. Take me or leave me. What I am is what you get.) Do they think I'm average or kind of pretty? Do they think I'm dressed fashionably or slouchy/frumpy/out-of-date? Do they look at my short pixie hair cut and think I look like a boy/man? Do my ears stick out so they think I look like Dumbo? Is my makeup smearing so they think I look like a raccoon?
SERIOUSLY? Seriously.
Not that I felt about myself that way today, but the thought did cross my mind, and then I wondered how many other people do the same thing. Honestly, this probably all stems from circumstances in my own life where people made fun, pointed, stared, whatever. I remember in junior high a particular instance. I have never been thin (or anything remotely close to it), and as I was walking in the hallways during lunch one day with a friend who weighed a lot more than I did, some very rude and stupid boys yelled, "Hey, it's Shamu and her friend, Shamu, Jr.!" Really guys? Thank heavens for me I've also been witty, so I came back with some snarky remark that shut them up. Those same boys were like that throughout high school. They were cruel to this friend of mine. It stopped with me because they knew I'd be vocal back and point out their worst features without thinking twice. Coping mechanism? Probably. Words work though. Sometimes they're piercing.
And now that this has become a novella, I'll try to get to the point. I realized that as much as I know Heavenly Father loves me, I also know He loves all of His children. ALL of them. Even if they don't know Him or even recognize that He exists. Because He's our Father, He created us as we should be. Sure, we fluctuate in weight, our shape changes as we grow older, our looks become different as we age, but through it all He loves us just as much as He ever did. So who am I to judge what another person is or isn't? Who cares what they're wearing or whether they combed their hair? What does it matter that their personal habits are different than mine? What does height, weight, size or anything else have to do with anything? It doesn't! Heavenly Father sees us as we are now and as we can become. He sees us through "rose colored glasses" (if you will) because He sees our untapped potential as not only human beings, but as His imperfect children.
As lunch wound down, I found that instead of looking at the outward appearances of people, I was looking more inward. I watched the couple sitting across from me with a set of twin girls (about two-years-old) and a young son (about 6 months) as they tried to get their daughters to eat and keep their son happy all while trying to connect in some way over what was probably his short lunch hour. I watched the young girl sitting across from me as she studied out of a text book and wrote notes furiously as she tried to better herself. I watched as friends sat together and talked and laughed and enjoyed each other's company as they caught up on life adventures, sorrows, mishaps, and joys. I saw an older couple help each other to the restrooms, wait for each other to finish, and walk hand-in-hand back through the mall the way they'd come without saying anything at all to each other, and I knew they were still communicating.
I think I got a small glimpse of what our Heavenly Father sees in each one of us: His children doing the best they can with what they've got. The reality is we're much more alike than we are different. Even though we're on similar journeys, we're still on different journeys. And hopefully, somewhere along the way, we're enjoying our journey and not worrying so much about what others think or what society says we need to be.
From now on, I hope I can keep that perspective and, instead of judging those I see, love those I see. I have a sneaky feeling that people watching is going to be much better.
Saturday, July 4, 2015
America the Beautiful
Every Monday morning at work we have a brief devotional. The devotional includes a hymn, a spiritual thought, and a prayer for our efforts and work in the coming week. It lasts maybe 15 minutes, and it's a great way to start the week. I enjoy the fact that everyone gets an opportunity to share some of their personal experiences along with their testimony about a gospel principle. You can't do that at every workplace!
On Monday of this week, a gentleman gave the thought. He talked about President Wilford Woodruff's experience in the St. George Temple where he was visited by the writers of the Declaration of Independence and they asked President Woodruff why their temple work had not yet been done. It was an eye-opener for President Woodruff, and he immediately went to work on having their temple ordinances completed. One of the points this co-worker was trying to make is that if we hadn't had such great leaders at the foundation of this country, like those who wrote and signed the Declaration of Independence, the way would not have been opened for Joseph Smith to restore the gospel in its fullness back to the earth. Events needed to happen in a certain order and freedoms needed to be established so that the gospel could be restored in a land where people's agency was considered a blessing and a priority rather than an inconvenience.
At the end of the devotional thought, this gentleman asked that we sing "America the Beautiful." I was asked to lead the music. When we came to the second verse, I teared up as we sang the phrase: "God men thine ev'ry flaw." Why? Because last weekend, on June 26, there was a 5 to 4 vote for the legalization of same gender marriage.
When the verdict came, I was at work and felt devastated. As much as I had hoped and prayed that the Supreme Court would recognize marriage between one man and one woman as the only viable way to protect and grow our society, I think I knew deep in my heart that the outcome would be in favor of same gender marriage. As much as I love my gay friends and family members, I do not condone, believe in, or accept same gender marriage as "the law of the land." It is not an issue of having the same rights either, although media sources have presented it as an issue of equality.
Now is not the time to voice my full opinion on the matter. I guess if people want to know my opinion they can ask and then we can have an open and respectful discussion about why I believe what I believe. If it can't be an open and respectful conversation, I don't want to have it - regardless of whether other's opinions agree with me or not.
Anyway, the reason I teared up while singing the hymn was because I realized that, even though I don't agree with the ruling, I do know and understand that God is in charge. Heavenly Father knows what will happen, and He understands the timing. He also provided us a book (The Book of Mormon) to help us avoid past mistakes. Sometimes we will avoid them; other times (like now) we won't avoid them. It is important to recognize in all things that Heavenly Father still allows us our agency. Unfortunately, it is the minority of us that are using our agency right now, and that's why laws have passed that will further deteriorate our country and society. It is also those laws that will impact God's eternal plan of happiness for us all and, try as they might, destroy the eternal family unit as we know it.
So when I sang "God mend thine ev'ry flaw" in that hymn it evoked an emotional response to something I've pleaded for in my heart for years. I pray that God will continue to grant his grace to us as a country because of and in spite of the minority "votes" that seem to matter so much these days. I pray that God will mend our country's every flaw and help us learn to listen to His voice and return to His way of living. I pray that we will not only read The Book of Mormon regularly, but that we will learn from those of previous generations and not make the same mistakes by slowly (or quickly) accepting and tolerating laws that are not God's laws. It was the end of an entire population of people; may it not be the end of us.
And may my gay friends and family members know how much I love them, how much I care about them, and how much I want the very best for them - in every aspect of life. Along with that, may they also understand that I love my Heavenly Father and my Savior, Jesus Christ, and Their love and laws will always be more important to me than anything else, including the opinion of those I love and care about. That's the way it should be if we really, truly want to live with Heavenly Father again. And I do want to live with Him again. Forever. May our "ev'ry flaw" be mended by the One and Only person who can.
On this day especially, July 4th, a day of independence and freedom, I honor those who have come before, who paved the way for my freedoms, and who helped bring about the restored gospel to this earth. I also honor God's laws and God's ways which allow me to not only have, but the ability to use, my own agency. It is a great Plan of Happiness we are living in, even when there are laws affecting my country that I don't agree with. Heavenly Father is still in charge, and I'm more than okay with that.
On Monday of this week, a gentleman gave the thought. He talked about President Wilford Woodruff's experience in the St. George Temple where he was visited by the writers of the Declaration of Independence and they asked President Woodruff why their temple work had not yet been done. It was an eye-opener for President Woodruff, and he immediately went to work on having their temple ordinances completed. One of the points this co-worker was trying to make is that if we hadn't had such great leaders at the foundation of this country, like those who wrote and signed the Declaration of Independence, the way would not have been opened for Joseph Smith to restore the gospel in its fullness back to the earth. Events needed to happen in a certain order and freedoms needed to be established so that the gospel could be restored in a land where people's agency was considered a blessing and a priority rather than an inconvenience.
At the end of the devotional thought, this gentleman asked that we sing "America the Beautiful." I was asked to lead the music. When we came to the second verse, I teared up as we sang the phrase: "God men thine ev'ry flaw." Why? Because last weekend, on June 26, there was a 5 to 4 vote for the legalization of same gender marriage.
When the verdict came, I was at work and felt devastated. As much as I had hoped and prayed that the Supreme Court would recognize marriage between one man and one woman as the only viable way to protect and grow our society, I think I knew deep in my heart that the outcome would be in favor of same gender marriage. As much as I love my gay friends and family members, I do not condone, believe in, or accept same gender marriage as "the law of the land." It is not an issue of having the same rights either, although media sources have presented it as an issue of equality.
Now is not the time to voice my full opinion on the matter. I guess if people want to know my opinion they can ask and then we can have an open and respectful discussion about why I believe what I believe. If it can't be an open and respectful conversation, I don't want to have it - regardless of whether other's opinions agree with me or not.
Anyway, the reason I teared up while singing the hymn was because I realized that, even though I don't agree with the ruling, I do know and understand that God is in charge. Heavenly Father knows what will happen, and He understands the timing. He also provided us a book (The Book of Mormon) to help us avoid past mistakes. Sometimes we will avoid them; other times (like now) we won't avoid them. It is important to recognize in all things that Heavenly Father still allows us our agency. Unfortunately, it is the minority of us that are using our agency right now, and that's why laws have passed that will further deteriorate our country and society. It is also those laws that will impact God's eternal plan of happiness for us all and, try as they might, destroy the eternal family unit as we know it.
So when I sang "God mend thine ev'ry flaw" in that hymn it evoked an emotional response to something I've pleaded for in my heart for years. I pray that God will continue to grant his grace to us as a country because of and in spite of the minority "votes" that seem to matter so much these days. I pray that God will mend our country's every flaw and help us learn to listen to His voice and return to His way of living. I pray that we will not only read The Book of Mormon regularly, but that we will learn from those of previous generations and not make the same mistakes by slowly (or quickly) accepting and tolerating laws that are not God's laws. It was the end of an entire population of people; may it not be the end of us.
And may my gay friends and family members know how much I love them, how much I care about them, and how much I want the very best for them - in every aspect of life. Along with that, may they also understand that I love my Heavenly Father and my Savior, Jesus Christ, and Their love and laws will always be more important to me than anything else, including the opinion of those I love and care about. That's the way it should be if we really, truly want to live with Heavenly Father again. And I do want to live with Him again. Forever. May our "ev'ry flaw" be mended by the One and Only person who can.
On this day especially, July 4th, a day of independence and freedom, I honor those who have come before, who paved the way for my freedoms, and who helped bring about the restored gospel to this earth. I also honor God's laws and God's ways which allow me to not only have, but the ability to use, my own agency. It is a great Plan of Happiness we are living in, even when there are laws affecting my country that I don't agree with. Heavenly Father is still in charge, and I'm more than okay with that.
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Hindsight is 20/20
I graduated from high school in 1995. Just three short years later, the world was watching as the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal broke and the President of the United States was threatened with impeachment. The allegations actually started in 1994 when a woman Clinton worked with in 1991 came forward saying that Clinton had made unwanted sexual advances towards her and, in so doing, had violated her civil rights. Monica Lewinsky began working in the White House in 1995 as an intern. In November of that same year, she began having a sexual relationship with President Clinton, a married man. (You can research more about the topic by simply Googling it.)
As a young 21-year-old woman at the time, I didn't really understand what all the "fuss" was about regarding this supposed affair between the President and Monica Lewinsky. So he was a cheat. Big deal! She was young and impressionable and made a stupid decision to sleep with a married man. Her problem! Hilary didn't have the guts to leave a cheat because the money was too good. I guess if you care more about money than yourself, so be it! Those were my basic thoughts about the whole thing. Surely there need not be any consideration about future problems that would result from this issue. Or so I thought.
I remember Mom and Dad talking about what was happening with the President. I remember them saying how all the publicity about it was going to open the floodgates to worse things happening. I remember them discussing how it would change the world's views on sexual relations, inappropriate relationships, and adultery. But as a young woman with her whole life ahead of her, I didn't really see how the President being an idiot would impact my life or the lives of those I loved directly.
Fast forward 17 years to the legalization of gay marriage. (This is not a debate about whether gay marriage is right or wrong.) I can look back over the last 17 years and see exactly what Mom and Dad were talking about and why they were concerned for the welfare of their children and grandchildren because of what happened with President Clinton and Monica Lewinsky. The floodgates were opened, and suddenly we started to see television shows that celebrated sexual relations outside of marriage, messages that adultery was okay as long as you were in love with the other person, and the breaking up of families through divorce and other selfish reasons that supposedly "made everyone happy." There were also shows with people "coming out", shows accepting lifestyles that were "do what you want if it makes you happy", and full of alcohol and drug use. And now we have television shows where people are openly gay and applauded for their lifestyle, shows full of innuendo (even in shows for young children), shows full of drug use and alcohol abuse, shows full of physical and emotional and verbal abuse against men and women and children, and shows that tell us the world is still living in the dark ages because we don't accept all of these things as "normal", "acceptable", or "reasonable." Yes, now I understand what my parents were talking about.
And since hindsight is 20/20, I see similar things happening with the legalization of gay marriage. Several of the young women I taught for years (and discussed the ramifications for society of legalizing gay marriage and accepting actions and behaviors and lifestyles that weren't in accordance with God's will) are now openly following, liking, and even supporting the legalization of gay marriage. The problem is they are where I was 17 years ago. Their eyes have yet to be opened. They have yet to understand and comprehend fully the ramifications of what this means for society as a whole and for religious people who believe in and try to live Christian values. Where will that leave us in another 17 years?
It breaks my heart to see how easily and how willingly young people have accepted what has been forced upon them by the very loud minority. Instead of following their parents examples of loving all, treating all with kindness and respect, and doing all of that without condoning what is wrong in the eyes of God, they are openly defying what they were taught (at least in my class) that they can love the sinner and hate the sin, they can be kind and thoughtful and respectful without condoning beliefs that don't make our Heavenly Father happy, and that they can (and should!) openly support marriage between one man and one woman because it really is the best way for children to grow and thrive. It's not just a matter of loving who you want to love. It's a matter of saving our society from deteriorating to the point of no return.
If I could save them from having 20/20 hindsight later, I would! I've wished several times in the last 17 years that I had been clued in better to what was happening and be able to listen to my parents with a more open mind. If I had, I might have seen what was coming and been more prepared to deal with it. It looks like some, however, have to have that "live and learn" experience. But boy, oh boy, can it be rough! And I'm afraid we're headed for some very murky and rough waters in the next 17 years.
The one bright shining hope, however, is the promise that if we live the way we're supposed to live and do what we're supposed to do, we will recognize the Savior when He comes and eventually be able to return to live with Him and with our Heavenly Father. I'll admit that sometimes I pray for that day to come sooner rather than later, especially knowing what we'll have to face as religious people and as a society in the coming years. It will not get any easier to live by standards deemed "old" or "out of date" by others. As I think about the blessings that came to the righteous in Book of Mormon times, however, I see that bright, shining hope glowing ever brighter.
And THAT is what keeps my sanity.
*I had this post written on the morning of June 30, 2015 as a "scheduled" post to go out tonight (thus you see the time as 7:40 pm). At about 4:00 p.m. today, I saw the following link online and it says basically what I was trying to say here, only the article says it better. In case you are interested in reading it: http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/top-church-leaders-counsel-members-after-supreme-court-same-sex-marriage-decision
As a young 21-year-old woman at the time, I didn't really understand what all the "fuss" was about regarding this supposed affair between the President and Monica Lewinsky. So he was a cheat. Big deal! She was young and impressionable and made a stupid decision to sleep with a married man. Her problem! Hilary didn't have the guts to leave a cheat because the money was too good. I guess if you care more about money than yourself, so be it! Those were my basic thoughts about the whole thing. Surely there need not be any consideration about future problems that would result from this issue. Or so I thought.
I remember Mom and Dad talking about what was happening with the President. I remember them saying how all the publicity about it was going to open the floodgates to worse things happening. I remember them discussing how it would change the world's views on sexual relations, inappropriate relationships, and adultery. But as a young woman with her whole life ahead of her, I didn't really see how the President being an idiot would impact my life or the lives of those I loved directly.
Fast forward 17 years to the legalization of gay marriage. (This is not a debate about whether gay marriage is right or wrong.) I can look back over the last 17 years and see exactly what Mom and Dad were talking about and why they were concerned for the welfare of their children and grandchildren because of what happened with President Clinton and Monica Lewinsky. The floodgates were opened, and suddenly we started to see television shows that celebrated sexual relations outside of marriage, messages that adultery was okay as long as you were in love with the other person, and the breaking up of families through divorce and other selfish reasons that supposedly "made everyone happy." There were also shows with people "coming out", shows accepting lifestyles that were "do what you want if it makes you happy", and full of alcohol and drug use. And now we have television shows where people are openly gay and applauded for their lifestyle, shows full of innuendo (even in shows for young children), shows full of drug use and alcohol abuse, shows full of physical and emotional and verbal abuse against men and women and children, and shows that tell us the world is still living in the dark ages because we don't accept all of these things as "normal", "acceptable", or "reasonable." Yes, now I understand what my parents were talking about.
And since hindsight is 20/20, I see similar things happening with the legalization of gay marriage. Several of the young women I taught for years (and discussed the ramifications for society of legalizing gay marriage and accepting actions and behaviors and lifestyles that weren't in accordance with God's will) are now openly following, liking, and even supporting the legalization of gay marriage. The problem is they are where I was 17 years ago. Their eyes have yet to be opened. They have yet to understand and comprehend fully the ramifications of what this means for society as a whole and for religious people who believe in and try to live Christian values. Where will that leave us in another 17 years?
It breaks my heart to see how easily and how willingly young people have accepted what has been forced upon them by the very loud minority. Instead of following their parents examples of loving all, treating all with kindness and respect, and doing all of that without condoning what is wrong in the eyes of God, they are openly defying what they were taught (at least in my class) that they can love the sinner and hate the sin, they can be kind and thoughtful and respectful without condoning beliefs that don't make our Heavenly Father happy, and that they can (and should!) openly support marriage between one man and one woman because it really is the best way for children to grow and thrive. It's not just a matter of loving who you want to love. It's a matter of saving our society from deteriorating to the point of no return.
If I could save them from having 20/20 hindsight later, I would! I've wished several times in the last 17 years that I had been clued in better to what was happening and be able to listen to my parents with a more open mind. If I had, I might have seen what was coming and been more prepared to deal with it. It looks like some, however, have to have that "live and learn" experience. But boy, oh boy, can it be rough! And I'm afraid we're headed for some very murky and rough waters in the next 17 years.
The one bright shining hope, however, is the promise that if we live the way we're supposed to live and do what we're supposed to do, we will recognize the Savior when He comes and eventually be able to return to live with Him and with our Heavenly Father. I'll admit that sometimes I pray for that day to come sooner rather than later, especially knowing what we'll have to face as religious people and as a society in the coming years. It will not get any easier to live by standards deemed "old" or "out of date" by others. As I think about the blessings that came to the righteous in Book of Mormon times, however, I see that bright, shining hope glowing ever brighter.
And THAT is what keeps my sanity.
*I had this post written on the morning of June 30, 2015 as a "scheduled" post to go out tonight (thus you see the time as 7:40 pm). At about 4:00 p.m. today, I saw the following link online and it says basically what I was trying to say here, only the article says it better. In case you are interested in reading it: http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/top-church-leaders-counsel-members-after-supreme-court-same-sex-marriage-decision
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