Part of my introversion includes a need for personal space. The amount of personal space needed varies on environment and mood. If I'm comfortable with you and we're friends, the amount of personal space needed gets smaller. It's also a fairly small space with family, as long as I'm in a comfortable situation and nobody is being confrontational.
Here's the thing though. Personal space is not just a perimeter of space around me or my body. It's also about "things" - as in my personal property. For example, one of my nieces lived with us for a time. When she was the only one at home, she would go into my room and look through my things. Weirdly, I'm very observant and know exactly how I left things when I left a room. Because of that, I always knew when someone had been through my things. They were ... different, in a different place, adjusted slightly, etc., and I could tell they had been touched or moved. As a non-confrontational person, I realized the only way to stop the problem with my niece was to address it. When I did, however, she simply denied she'd been in my room. Without any proof (because nobody was home when she would go in my room), it was difficult for Mom and Dad to "punish" her for her actions. And I was left looking like a crazy person.
Similar things have happened since that niece lived with us. People have gone through my cabinets in the bathroom, helped themselves to floss and Q-tips and hair styling products, and rummaged through whatever else they wanted. If you're not an introvert or things like that don't bother you, it's hard to describe the feeling that overcomes you when others intrude in your "personal space."
It feels like I've been violated.
That's about the only way I can describe what it feels like. Imagine how you would feel if someone broke into your home and destroyed your things or stole something important to you. That's never happened to be, but I imagine it's a very similar feeling to what I feel when others invade my personal space or go through my things. My necessary "bubble" now has holes popped in it, and I feel like the clean air I once thrived on has turned to muddy sewage, and I'm now drowning in it.
Seems dramatic, right? Well, unless you've been there, you don't know.
Now, lest people think I'm just being selfish, I should clarify that if someone needs something and asks me for it, and I have it in my possession, I will 99.999% of the time give it to them to use or have. I find it very polite and thoughtful when someone asks. Even if I don't want to give it to them, I probably would anyway because they were thoughtful and polite enough to ask me for it.
On the other hand, when people feel entitled or owed or whatever and take/use my things without asking, I feel violated and immediately become defensive. I don't know how else to explain it. I think, however, that it has something to do with being an introvert because I feel very protective of me and my things. After all, a person works hard to buy, gain, get what they have. To have my valuables taken away (or dismissed as being not-so-valuable to someone else) makes me feel as if my hard work, efforts, time, energy, etc. are worthless. Normally, I don't care much about what others think of me, but devaluing my belongings or taking my things feels like a judgment on my opinions and thoughts.
As another way of explaining it, a nephew recently stayed with us and twice during his stay I found a big chunk removed from my hair product. Since I remove the product in a leveling way (it helps me "measure" how much I have so I know about how long it will last), I knew who had been in my hair product. It wasn't Mom!
Silly, right? To me it said, "You picked a hair product good enough for me to use, but not good enough that I need to ask you in order to use as much as I want whenever I want." It's not like the product cost a lot or couldn't be replaced, but it is something I have to budget for when considering what items to purchase. I understand with kids and teens that it's more about entitlement. I need it, you have it, therefore it's okay that I use it. Eventually, kids and teens grow out of that phase (we hope!) and realize that working and living paycheck-to-paycheck means you have to budget and someone else using your things puts a kink in your budgetary plans.
But there are adults who don't care. It's happened plenty of times to me. Because adults should "know better", it's like they're walking all over my personal space not caring what or who they step on. It's like saying I'm worth less rather than worthless. Nobody wants to feel that way. Plus, I don't go to other people's homes and use their things without asking. I know how it makes me feel, and I'd never want someone else to feel that way about me.
I think the best thing to do is to give me my personal space. Ask before you use something of mine, and never assume using something of mine is okay just because it's not under lock and key. Maybe it's about respect? I don't know, but personal space is important to introverts, especially, and it's good manners to be mindful of others anyway. And that's just one reason why I need my personal space, m'kay?
Friday, July 31, 2015
Thursday, July 30, 2015
Broken Bones and Stitches
Age: 5
Date: Summer
Place: Good ol' Spanish Fork
The weather was warm, but it was also wet and rainy. That means it was near or during monsoon season. School hadn't started yet, so my guess is this all occurred in August of 1982. It should be more fresh considering what happened.
Shauna and I (and another friend, whose name I think was Trina, but don't quote me on that) went over to Bishop Lamb's house (next door neighbor to Shauna). The Lamb's had a cool backyard where their garden thrived and they had several apple trees. It was in one of these apple trees that we decided to swing after a rain storm.
Yeah, geniuses. I know.
I think everyone else went first and had a turn. It came to me, so I got the "peer pressure" from others to just do it. I wiggled my way out on the limb; it was a sturdy limb, but fairly high off the ground and on a hill. I was facing east with the hill falling to the west and began to swing. It took a few tries, but I finally started to get going.
That's when my hands became a bit too wet, and as I swung back my fingers couldn't hang on. My grasp quickly loosened and dropped me to the moist grass under the tree. As I hit the ground, my right arm slammed into the grass, followed quickly by my left arm and then my head meeting with both wrists as they crashed into each other a second time.
The pain! It was searing and hot. Tears immediately came to my eyes, but the fall had knocked the wind out of me, so my open mouth was silent. The girls in the tree said, "Whoa! No way! Holy cow!" And then Shauna said, "Katie? Katie! Are you okay?" Next thing I knew, she was out of the tree helping me off the ground, and we walked around the corner to my house with me crying the entire way and screaming if anyone tried to touch me.
When we got to my house, Shauna took me inside. My sister, Lisa, was the only one home at the time. She was supposed to be watching me, I think. In her usual fashion, she was talking on the phone as we came in the house and basically told me to shut up so she could hear her phone conversation. Shauna and I went into the family, where we sat for nearly an hour as I sporadically cried and moaned. After nearly an hour, Mom came home to me still sobbing and Lisa still on the phone. Mom chewed Lisa out for talking on the phone, demanded she hang up NOW, and checked in on me. I screamed bloody murder when Mom tried to touch my arms to see what was wrong.
The next thing I remember, we were at Dr. Judd's office and I was having my right arm put in a cast up past my elbow. I'd had x-rays which showed a break in the wrist and was told I'd be in that cast for 6-8 weeks. The left arm seemed to be okay for the moment. I don't remember much after that when we got home, but I'm pretty sure Lisa got in serious trouble, and I crashed on Mom and Dad's water bed.
A week later, I was still in pain and complaining to Mom. Out of exhaustion (I'm sure) she took me back to Dr. Judd's office. More x-rays indicated there was also a break in my left wrist. Another cast was put on my left arm up to my elbow, and we were sent on our way. I'm sure I was a sight to see.
But that's not the end of the story.
Oh, no. We don't do things the easy way around our house.
About a week or so after the second cast was put on, Shauna wanted to ride bikes. Dr. Judd told Mom there was to be absolutely no bike riding, skateboarding, or other "dangerous" activities while I had the casts on. We were wrapping them in old sandwich bags during bath time and being extremely cautious about keeping them clean. But what's a five-year-old to do? I mean, it's summer, for Pete's sake! Who wants to keep their kid cooped up during that time when they can be outside playing and out of their parent's hair?
So we got on the bikes. We started at the top of the block near my house where a hill started that was both big enough and small enough for a five-year-old. And then we began to race. I made it swiftly past our neighbor's house, past my house, and almost past the other neighbor's house when a van began pulling in the parking lot of the church on the opposite corner of the block at the end of the hill. Suddenly, I seemed to forget how to use the bike breaks, and I plowed into the neighbor's fence that separated their home from the church parking lot.
With the front wheel of my bike stuck in the fence and a cast on each arm, I had nowhere to go but down and no way to protect myself in the fall. Thankfully, I leaned to the left and landed face-first in the neighbor's grass. Phew! Right?
No. As I said, we don't do things the easy way.
I was stuck. And by I, I mean my bottom teeth. My teeth were stuck in the grass and there was no way for me to get out on my own. As much as I could, I tried to scream. It was a muffled sound. Who knew grass was such a good sound barrier? Anyway, Shauna had run to the neighbor's door and asked for help. Next thing I know, the pony tail in the center of my head has become the gripping device used to yank my face from the grass.
Somebody walked my bike home, bent wheel and all, and I was walked home to Mom where she took one look at my teeth and put me in the car to go to the dentist. After everything I'd been through, you'd think the dentist would have been more sympathetic. Is that even in their job description?
My bottom two front teeth were yanked, and the grass was dug out of the other two teeth next to those. My mouth was a bloody, painful mess - the perfect match to my still-painful and swollen arms. What a sight!
To make matters worse, Kindergarten started only a couple of weeks after that. You should have seen me trying to learn how to write with dysfunctional fingers, how to say the Pledge of Allegiance by using my somewhat mobile left arm to raise my completely inept right arm up to my heart, and how to "play" with the others kids when every time I turned around I practically took one of them out with one of my heavy casts. Plus, you know, my smile was already missing two teeth when most of the other kids hadn't even lost one.
That's a killer look for a five-year-old. It definitely added to self-esteem and increased capacity to make friends at school.
Yeesh.
It's a miracle I'm any kind of normal.
You're welcome.
Date: Summer
Place: Good ol' Spanish Fork
The weather was warm, but it was also wet and rainy. That means it was near or during monsoon season. School hadn't started yet, so my guess is this all occurred in August of 1982. It should be more fresh considering what happened.
Shauna and I (and another friend, whose name I think was Trina, but don't quote me on that) went over to Bishop Lamb's house (next door neighbor to Shauna). The Lamb's had a cool backyard where their garden thrived and they had several apple trees. It was in one of these apple trees that we decided to swing after a rain storm.
Yeah, geniuses. I know.
I think everyone else went first and had a turn. It came to me, so I got the "peer pressure" from others to just do it. I wiggled my way out on the limb; it was a sturdy limb, but fairly high off the ground and on a hill. I was facing east with the hill falling to the west and began to swing. It took a few tries, but I finally started to get going.
That's when my hands became a bit too wet, and as I swung back my fingers couldn't hang on. My grasp quickly loosened and dropped me to the moist grass under the tree. As I hit the ground, my right arm slammed into the grass, followed quickly by my left arm and then my head meeting with both wrists as they crashed into each other a second time.
The pain! It was searing and hot. Tears immediately came to my eyes, but the fall had knocked the wind out of me, so my open mouth was silent. The girls in the tree said, "Whoa! No way! Holy cow!" And then Shauna said, "Katie? Katie! Are you okay?" Next thing I knew, she was out of the tree helping me off the ground, and we walked around the corner to my house with me crying the entire way and screaming if anyone tried to touch me.
When we got to my house, Shauna took me inside. My sister, Lisa, was the only one home at the time. She was supposed to be watching me, I think. In her usual fashion, she was talking on the phone as we came in the house and basically told me to shut up so she could hear her phone conversation. Shauna and I went into the family, where we sat for nearly an hour as I sporadically cried and moaned. After nearly an hour, Mom came home to me still sobbing and Lisa still on the phone. Mom chewed Lisa out for talking on the phone, demanded she hang up NOW, and checked in on me. I screamed bloody murder when Mom tried to touch my arms to see what was wrong.
The next thing I remember, we were at Dr. Judd's office and I was having my right arm put in a cast up past my elbow. I'd had x-rays which showed a break in the wrist and was told I'd be in that cast for 6-8 weeks. The left arm seemed to be okay for the moment. I don't remember much after that when we got home, but I'm pretty sure Lisa got in serious trouble, and I crashed on Mom and Dad's water bed.
A week later, I was still in pain and complaining to Mom. Out of exhaustion (I'm sure) she took me back to Dr. Judd's office. More x-rays indicated there was also a break in my left wrist. Another cast was put on my left arm up to my elbow, and we were sent on our way. I'm sure I was a sight to see.
But that's not the end of the story.
Oh, no. We don't do things the easy way around our house.
About a week or so after the second cast was put on, Shauna wanted to ride bikes. Dr. Judd told Mom there was to be absolutely no bike riding, skateboarding, or other "dangerous" activities while I had the casts on. We were wrapping them in old sandwich bags during bath time and being extremely cautious about keeping them clean. But what's a five-year-old to do? I mean, it's summer, for Pete's sake! Who wants to keep their kid cooped up during that time when they can be outside playing and out of their parent's hair?
So we got on the bikes. We started at the top of the block near my house where a hill started that was both big enough and small enough for a five-year-old. And then we began to race. I made it swiftly past our neighbor's house, past my house, and almost past the other neighbor's house when a van began pulling in the parking lot of the church on the opposite corner of the block at the end of the hill. Suddenly, I seemed to forget how to use the bike breaks, and I plowed into the neighbor's fence that separated their home from the church parking lot.
With the front wheel of my bike stuck in the fence and a cast on each arm, I had nowhere to go but down and no way to protect myself in the fall. Thankfully, I leaned to the left and landed face-first in the neighbor's grass. Phew! Right?
No. As I said, we don't do things the easy way.
I was stuck. And by I, I mean my bottom teeth. My teeth were stuck in the grass and there was no way for me to get out on my own. As much as I could, I tried to scream. It was a muffled sound. Who knew grass was such a good sound barrier? Anyway, Shauna had run to the neighbor's door and asked for help. Next thing I know, the pony tail in the center of my head has become the gripping device used to yank my face from the grass.
Somebody walked my bike home, bent wheel and all, and I was walked home to Mom where she took one look at my teeth and put me in the car to go to the dentist. After everything I'd been through, you'd think the dentist would have been more sympathetic. Is that even in their job description?
My bottom two front teeth were yanked, and the grass was dug out of the other two teeth next to those. My mouth was a bloody, painful mess - the perfect match to my still-painful and swollen arms. What a sight!
To make matters worse, Kindergarten started only a couple of weeks after that. You should have seen me trying to learn how to write with dysfunctional fingers, how to say the Pledge of Allegiance by using my somewhat mobile left arm to raise my completely inept right arm up to my heart, and how to "play" with the others kids when every time I turned around I practically took one of them out with one of my heavy casts. Plus, you know, my smile was already missing two teeth when most of the other kids hadn't even lost one.
That's a killer look for a five-year-old. It definitely added to self-esteem and increased capacity to make friends at school.
Yeesh.
It's a miracle I'm any kind of normal.
You're welcome.
Friday, July 10, 2015
Grammar Lessons
My mom was a middle and high school English teacher for years. Something like 23 years to be more exact. On family road trips we would play word games as we drove. It was a time before iPads and electronic devices could keep you bombarded at every turn (thank goodness!). We were corrected at home on proper grammar usage. We were tested on our spelling words. We understood homonyms, homophones, synonyms, and antonyms. We were taught the difference between metaphors and similes. We learned when to capitalize high school and when not to, and we learned why it mattered. It was important to my mom that we understood basic principles of the English language so that we could not only speak correctly, but write correctly as well. In other words, my parents wanted us to be an educated family - one that loved to learn and continued to learn throughout life.
For many years, I thought I, too, would like to be an English teacher. That was before I realized "babysitting" other people's kids all day was not something I'd enjoy doing, whether I got paid for it or not. That realization, however, did not deter me from continuing to use proper English and avoid common grammatical errors. People make major mistakes in their writing, especially on social media (it's awful!), so I thought I'd go over some basic grammar lessons in this post as a reminder (mostly to myself) that I still understand and know the basic principles of the English language. Mostly, this post is to show Mom how much I appreciate her instruction and to let her know I "got it" even when she thought I probably wasn't listen or didn't get anything out of it.
Your and you're - people misuse these SO often, and it drives me crazy.
Your is possessive. "I like your hair style." "Would you like your meal warmed?" "Your car is so clean!" Use your when trying to show possession.
You're is a contraction of you and are. "Mom said you're going to the mall." "If you're going to the store, may I come with you?" "You're so amazing!" You're can only be substituted in place of you are.
Their, there, and they're - I can't even explain the number of people that misuse these on a regular basis.
Their is possessive (like your). "May I go to their house?" "This is their car." "We've been to their cabin before." Use their when trying to showing possession.
There is a place. "Have you been there before?" "Can we go there for lunch?" "I was there when I was five." Any time a destination is involved use there.
They're is another contraction of they are. "They're going to the movies." "They're your friends, right?" "They're unbelievable!" They're can only be substituted in place of they are.
Anxious v. Eager - this is misused so often that people have started using the words interchangeably, and they don't mean the same thing!
Anxious usually has a negative connotation. "I'm anxious about my upcoming math test." "This is the first time I've cooked this meal, and it made me a little bit anxious." You could be anxious to go on a trip, but only if you are feeling some trepidation about the travel or the place you would stay, etc.
Eager has less of a negative connotation. "I'm eager about my upcoming trip." "I'm eager to get the results of my driving test." Eager fits more along the lines of excited and should be used as a way to express that you're looking forward to something.
You and I v. You and Me (or Me and You) - these are incredibly misused, and it's becoming more commonplace all the time to use them incorrectly. Honestly, people sound stupid when they misuse them. I find myself falling into the casual trap and misusing them sometimes, and I want to punch myself in the face for it. I'm to the point now that I correct myself when I misuse them in the hopes that others will catch on to the incorrect usage.
The easiest way for me to explain this concept is to give an example of why a certain usage is incorrect. "Will you join Bob and me for dinner?" You wouldn't ask, "Will you join I for dinner?" No! You wouldn't! And if you would, stop it! That's the correct usage of you and me. Here's another. "You and I should go to the movie this week." You would not say, "Me should go to the movie this week." Instead, you would say, "I should go to the movie this week", and because of that you would say, "You and I" and not "You and me." Make sense? That's the easiest way (for me) to tell whether or not I'm using the phrase correctly. Does it make sense to use the phrase you and I, or should I use you and me? Use them both in the question or sentence and that will help determine which you should use.
Anyway - please never say anywayS! It's just ... wrong. Saying something like, "Anyways, I'm going to ...." is annoying and makes you sound stupid. Instead, use the word anyway (singular). It's proper and won't make you sound like a hick from the sticks.
Ignorant v. Rude - these are not the same, no matter how much you think they are or how many times you have used them interchangeably.
Ignorant means that a person doesn't know something. If you are ignorant about Mexico, you know little (or nothing) about it's cultural, ethnicity, people, customs, etc. If someone says, "Bill is so ignorant because he called me a jerk," that would be incorrect usage of the word. Bill calling you a jerk makes him rude. If Bill has never been to Mexico and tries to talk about the subject intellectually he is ignorant. His "knowledge" about the matter would likely be based on assumptions or things that others have told him, not based on personal knowledge from being in the country or reading factual material.
Rude is a different animal. If you belch at the dinner table in America, that's rude. If you're from Japan (I think it's Japan anyway; I'll have to verify the country and culture) where belching at the table is considered a compliment to the cook, and you were visiting America for the first time with no foreknowledge about the country, and you belched at the dinner table, you could potentially be considered both rude and ignorant. You would be rude because belching at the dinner table is considered bad manners in America, and you would be ignorant because you didn't know/learn enough about the country to understand table manners. See the difference? There IS a difference, I promise.
Nauseous v. Nauseated - oh my, this one is a problem for many people. Unfortunately, many people also don't realize they are demeaning themselves when they use one incorrectly.
Nauseous is something you feel because you are affected with nausea. For example, to some people the smell of popcorn cooking is nauseating. It can cause nausea, therefore, popcorn cooking is a nauseous smell for some. If you say you are nauseous, you admit that you affect yourself with nausea. (You make yourself sick, in other words. Not likely true ....)
Nauseated is when you feel sick because you have the flu or ate something funny. The proper thing to say when you feel sick is, "I feel nauseated." Avoid saying, "I feel nauseous" as it will indicate you don't feel well because you make yourself sick.
That is your grammar lesson for today, kids! I hope you will find it helpful and use it to sound (and write!) smarter. And if you find yourself in a lurch, just "wow" people by telling them the longest single-word palindrome in the English language: redivider. Bam!
For many years, I thought I, too, would like to be an English teacher. That was before I realized "babysitting" other people's kids all day was not something I'd enjoy doing, whether I got paid for it or not. That realization, however, did not deter me from continuing to use proper English and avoid common grammatical errors. People make major mistakes in their writing, especially on social media (it's awful!), so I thought I'd go over some basic grammar lessons in this post as a reminder (mostly to myself) that I still understand and know the basic principles of the English language. Mostly, this post is to show Mom how much I appreciate her instruction and to let her know I "got it" even when she thought I probably wasn't listen or didn't get anything out of it.
Your and you're - people misuse these SO often, and it drives me crazy.
Your is possessive. "I like your hair style." "Would you like your meal warmed?" "Your car is so clean!" Use your when trying to show possession.
You're is a contraction of you and are. "Mom said you're going to the mall." "If you're going to the store, may I come with you?" "You're so amazing!" You're can only be substituted in place of you are.
Their, there, and they're - I can't even explain the number of people that misuse these on a regular basis.
Their is possessive (like your). "May I go to their house?" "This is their car." "We've been to their cabin before." Use their when trying to showing possession.
There is a place. "Have you been there before?" "Can we go there for lunch?" "I was there when I was five." Any time a destination is involved use there.
They're is another contraction of they are. "They're going to the movies." "They're your friends, right?" "They're unbelievable!" They're can only be substituted in place of they are.
Anxious v. Eager - this is misused so often that people have started using the words interchangeably, and they don't mean the same thing!
Anxious usually has a negative connotation. "I'm anxious about my upcoming math test." "This is the first time I've cooked this meal, and it made me a little bit anxious." You could be anxious to go on a trip, but only if you are feeling some trepidation about the travel or the place you would stay, etc.
Eager has less of a negative connotation. "I'm eager about my upcoming trip." "I'm eager to get the results of my driving test." Eager fits more along the lines of excited and should be used as a way to express that you're looking forward to something.
You and I v. You and Me (or Me and You) - these are incredibly misused, and it's becoming more commonplace all the time to use them incorrectly. Honestly, people sound stupid when they misuse them. I find myself falling into the casual trap and misusing them sometimes, and I want to punch myself in the face for it. I'm to the point now that I correct myself when I misuse them in the hopes that others will catch on to the incorrect usage.
The easiest way for me to explain this concept is to give an example of why a certain usage is incorrect. "Will you join Bob and me for dinner?" You wouldn't ask, "Will you join I for dinner?" No! You wouldn't! And if you would, stop it! That's the correct usage of you and me. Here's another. "You and I should go to the movie this week." You would not say, "Me should go to the movie this week." Instead, you would say, "I should go to the movie this week", and because of that you would say, "You and I" and not "You and me." Make sense? That's the easiest way (for me) to tell whether or not I'm using the phrase correctly. Does it make sense to use the phrase you and I, or should I use you and me? Use them both in the question or sentence and that will help determine which you should use.
Anyway - please never say anywayS! It's just ... wrong. Saying something like, "Anyways, I'm going to ...." is annoying and makes you sound stupid. Instead, use the word anyway (singular). It's proper and won't make you sound like a hick from the sticks.
Ignorant v. Rude - these are not the same, no matter how much you think they are or how many times you have used them interchangeably.
Ignorant means that a person doesn't know something. If you are ignorant about Mexico, you know little (or nothing) about it's cultural, ethnicity, people, customs, etc. If someone says, "Bill is so ignorant because he called me a jerk," that would be incorrect usage of the word. Bill calling you a jerk makes him rude. If Bill has never been to Mexico and tries to talk about the subject intellectually he is ignorant. His "knowledge" about the matter would likely be based on assumptions or things that others have told him, not based on personal knowledge from being in the country or reading factual material.
Rude is a different animal. If you belch at the dinner table in America, that's rude. If you're from Japan (I think it's Japan anyway; I'll have to verify the country and culture) where belching at the table is considered a compliment to the cook, and you were visiting America for the first time with no foreknowledge about the country, and you belched at the dinner table, you could potentially be considered both rude and ignorant. You would be rude because belching at the dinner table is considered bad manners in America, and you would be ignorant because you didn't know/learn enough about the country to understand table manners. See the difference? There IS a difference, I promise.
Nauseous v. Nauseated - oh my, this one is a problem for many people. Unfortunately, many people also don't realize they are demeaning themselves when they use one incorrectly.
Nauseous is something you feel because you are affected with nausea. For example, to some people the smell of popcorn cooking is nauseating. It can cause nausea, therefore, popcorn cooking is a nauseous smell for some. If you say you are nauseous, you admit that you affect yourself with nausea. (You make yourself sick, in other words. Not likely true ....)
Nauseated is when you feel sick because you have the flu or ate something funny. The proper thing to say when you feel sick is, "I feel nauseated." Avoid saying, "I feel nauseous" as it will indicate you don't feel well because you make yourself sick.
That is your grammar lesson for today, kids! I hope you will find it helpful and use it to sound (and write!) smarter. And if you find yourself in a lurch, just "wow" people by telling them the longest single-word palindrome in the English language: redivider. Bam!
Saturday, July 4, 2015
America the Beautiful
Every Monday morning at work we have a brief devotional. The devotional includes a hymn, a spiritual thought, and a prayer for our efforts and work in the coming week. It lasts maybe 15 minutes, and it's a great way to start the week. I enjoy the fact that everyone gets an opportunity to share some of their personal experiences along with their testimony about a gospel principle. You can't do that at every workplace!
On Monday of this week, a gentleman gave the thought. He talked about President Wilford Woodruff's experience in the St. George Temple where he was visited by the writers of the Declaration of Independence and they asked President Woodruff why their temple work had not yet been done. It was an eye-opener for President Woodruff, and he immediately went to work on having their temple ordinances completed. One of the points this co-worker was trying to make is that if we hadn't had such great leaders at the foundation of this country, like those who wrote and signed the Declaration of Independence, the way would not have been opened for Joseph Smith to restore the gospel in its fullness back to the earth. Events needed to happen in a certain order and freedoms needed to be established so that the gospel could be restored in a land where people's agency was considered a blessing and a priority rather than an inconvenience.
At the end of the devotional thought, this gentleman asked that we sing "America the Beautiful." I was asked to lead the music. When we came to the second verse, I teared up as we sang the phrase: "God men thine ev'ry flaw." Why? Because last weekend, on June 26, there was a 5 to 4 vote for the legalization of same gender marriage.
When the verdict came, I was at work and felt devastated. As much as I had hoped and prayed that the Supreme Court would recognize marriage between one man and one woman as the only viable way to protect and grow our society, I think I knew deep in my heart that the outcome would be in favor of same gender marriage. As much as I love my gay friends and family members, I do not condone, believe in, or accept same gender marriage as "the law of the land." It is not an issue of having the same rights either, although media sources have presented it as an issue of equality.
Now is not the time to voice my full opinion on the matter. I guess if people want to know my opinion they can ask and then we can have an open and respectful discussion about why I believe what I believe. If it can't be an open and respectful conversation, I don't want to have it - regardless of whether other's opinions agree with me or not.
Anyway, the reason I teared up while singing the hymn was because I realized that, even though I don't agree with the ruling, I do know and understand that God is in charge. Heavenly Father knows what will happen, and He understands the timing. He also provided us a book (The Book of Mormon) to help us avoid past mistakes. Sometimes we will avoid them; other times (like now) we won't avoid them. It is important to recognize in all things that Heavenly Father still allows us our agency. Unfortunately, it is the minority of us that are using our agency right now, and that's why laws have passed that will further deteriorate our country and society. It is also those laws that will impact God's eternal plan of happiness for us all and, try as they might, destroy the eternal family unit as we know it.
So when I sang "God mend thine ev'ry flaw" in that hymn it evoked an emotional response to something I've pleaded for in my heart for years. I pray that God will continue to grant his grace to us as a country because of and in spite of the minority "votes" that seem to matter so much these days. I pray that God will mend our country's every flaw and help us learn to listen to His voice and return to His way of living. I pray that we will not only read The Book of Mormon regularly, but that we will learn from those of previous generations and not make the same mistakes by slowly (or quickly) accepting and tolerating laws that are not God's laws. It was the end of an entire population of people; may it not be the end of us.
And may my gay friends and family members know how much I love them, how much I care about them, and how much I want the very best for them - in every aspect of life. Along with that, may they also understand that I love my Heavenly Father and my Savior, Jesus Christ, and Their love and laws will always be more important to me than anything else, including the opinion of those I love and care about. That's the way it should be if we really, truly want to live with Heavenly Father again. And I do want to live with Him again. Forever. May our "ev'ry flaw" be mended by the One and Only person who can.
On this day especially, July 4th, a day of independence and freedom, I honor those who have come before, who paved the way for my freedoms, and who helped bring about the restored gospel to this earth. I also honor God's laws and God's ways which allow me to not only have, but the ability to use, my own agency. It is a great Plan of Happiness we are living in, even when there are laws affecting my country that I don't agree with. Heavenly Father is still in charge, and I'm more than okay with that.
On Monday of this week, a gentleman gave the thought. He talked about President Wilford Woodruff's experience in the St. George Temple where he was visited by the writers of the Declaration of Independence and they asked President Woodruff why their temple work had not yet been done. It was an eye-opener for President Woodruff, and he immediately went to work on having their temple ordinances completed. One of the points this co-worker was trying to make is that if we hadn't had such great leaders at the foundation of this country, like those who wrote and signed the Declaration of Independence, the way would not have been opened for Joseph Smith to restore the gospel in its fullness back to the earth. Events needed to happen in a certain order and freedoms needed to be established so that the gospel could be restored in a land where people's agency was considered a blessing and a priority rather than an inconvenience.
At the end of the devotional thought, this gentleman asked that we sing "America the Beautiful." I was asked to lead the music. When we came to the second verse, I teared up as we sang the phrase: "God men thine ev'ry flaw." Why? Because last weekend, on June 26, there was a 5 to 4 vote for the legalization of same gender marriage.
When the verdict came, I was at work and felt devastated. As much as I had hoped and prayed that the Supreme Court would recognize marriage between one man and one woman as the only viable way to protect and grow our society, I think I knew deep in my heart that the outcome would be in favor of same gender marriage. As much as I love my gay friends and family members, I do not condone, believe in, or accept same gender marriage as "the law of the land." It is not an issue of having the same rights either, although media sources have presented it as an issue of equality.
Now is not the time to voice my full opinion on the matter. I guess if people want to know my opinion they can ask and then we can have an open and respectful discussion about why I believe what I believe. If it can't be an open and respectful conversation, I don't want to have it - regardless of whether other's opinions agree with me or not.
Anyway, the reason I teared up while singing the hymn was because I realized that, even though I don't agree with the ruling, I do know and understand that God is in charge. Heavenly Father knows what will happen, and He understands the timing. He also provided us a book (The Book of Mormon) to help us avoid past mistakes. Sometimes we will avoid them; other times (like now) we won't avoid them. It is important to recognize in all things that Heavenly Father still allows us our agency. Unfortunately, it is the minority of us that are using our agency right now, and that's why laws have passed that will further deteriorate our country and society. It is also those laws that will impact God's eternal plan of happiness for us all and, try as they might, destroy the eternal family unit as we know it.
So when I sang "God mend thine ev'ry flaw" in that hymn it evoked an emotional response to something I've pleaded for in my heart for years. I pray that God will continue to grant his grace to us as a country because of and in spite of the minority "votes" that seem to matter so much these days. I pray that God will mend our country's every flaw and help us learn to listen to His voice and return to His way of living. I pray that we will not only read The Book of Mormon regularly, but that we will learn from those of previous generations and not make the same mistakes by slowly (or quickly) accepting and tolerating laws that are not God's laws. It was the end of an entire population of people; may it not be the end of us.
And may my gay friends and family members know how much I love them, how much I care about them, and how much I want the very best for them - in every aspect of life. Along with that, may they also understand that I love my Heavenly Father and my Savior, Jesus Christ, and Their love and laws will always be more important to me than anything else, including the opinion of those I love and care about. That's the way it should be if we really, truly want to live with Heavenly Father again. And I do want to live with Him again. Forever. May our "ev'ry flaw" be mended by the One and Only person who can.
On this day especially, July 4th, a day of independence and freedom, I honor those who have come before, who paved the way for my freedoms, and who helped bring about the restored gospel to this earth. I also honor God's laws and God's ways which allow me to not only have, but the ability to use, my own agency. It is a great Plan of Happiness we are living in, even when there are laws affecting my country that I don't agree with. Heavenly Father is still in charge, and I'm more than okay with that.
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