Please don't judge me. I know (now) that it's strange I did this, but in reality a lot more people have done it than I ever could have imagined. The discussion has come up in some pretty random settings, and the people who have admitted to doing the same thing I did as a kid seem fairly normal and well-adjusted. Lest you think I was strange ....
As a kid, we never had butter in the house. It was always margarine. Maybe butter was too expensive? Or maybe it wasn't as readily available as it is today? I don't know the reasons, but I do know that Dad often complained (or lamented the fact) that we never had real butter in the house. I didn't know the difference, and I remember when I first tasted butter I thought it was gross. Now, the thoughts of eating margarine make me want to gag. I might cook with it if a recipe calls for it, but if I can replace it with butter instead, I will. Butter = better. And now I know why Dad lamented.
Anyway, we usually left the margarine out instead of keeping it refrigerated so it was soft and didn't rip our bread. This makes me think we also ate a lot of grilled cheese sandwiches. I hate it when the bread rips!
One particular day, I was left to my own devices, and the margarine was out, so I stuck my finger in and had a lick. And deemed it good. So I had another lick. And another. And pretty soon that stick of margarine was gone. (Don't ask. I'm dry heaving and gagging as I typed that out.) And, like a responsible child, I threw the wrapper away. No evidence!
Later, Mom came in the kitchen (probably to make dinner) and needed the margarine for something (grilled cheese sandwiches?), and it wasn't there. She asked me if I knew where the margarine was, and I said no. She went about making dinner, adjusted for the hard margarine instead of the soft, and things were fine.
Until she went to throw something in the trash and saw the wrapper.
UH OH.
And then I admitted my horrible deed. I can't remember, but I'm sure she probably looked at me like I was an alien from some foreign planet existing outside of the Milky Way. Or it might have just been a look of disgust. Because who eats just plain margarine?
A lot of people, I tell ya! A LOT!
Today, I don't do that. I'm smarter. More refined. And when nobody is looking, I might actually steel a little lick of butter. Not margarine. That's just gross. But butter? Mmmm. That's good stuff.
Thank you, Dad, for refining my palate.
And thank you, Mom, for keeping me after I ate the margarine. I'm sorry. It won't happen again.
Okay - this was a little too much to digest. Yes, indeed I remember how much margarine was such a required stable in our home. It so disgusting now I cannot believe it is still being sold at the market. Butter is so much better but unfortunately will probably be the death of me - think toast, cookies, cakes, and just about anything else.
ReplyDeleteSay, what's with the oleo? I don't ever recall margarine having another name for it like that.
And, I cannot believe you gave a greasy, yellow lie to your mother of all people denying that you had anything to do with that missing margarine! While I have never down that much margarine and in that method, I have been known to use butter liberally to suite my taste.