Egg Yolks

We lived in a great neighborhood growing up. Our ward was amazing (and included a LOT of family members), so it was difficult to get in trouble without your parents knowing about it. In other words, it was easier to just avoid trouble to begin with because your parents were bound to find out from someone else what you'd been up to, and others would be more honest about it than you would. "It takes a village ...." So true! 

When I was about five years old, I went to a friend's house one afternoon without telling Mom and Dad (or anybody) where I'd gone. Normally, Mom didn't have a problem with me going to other people's houses, but she did ask that I always leave a note to say where I was so she wouldn't worry and would know where to find me if she needed me. On this particular day, I either forgot to leave a note (unlikely) or figured it wouldn't matter where I was because I'd be home before she would be home (likely). My five-year-old brain thought that made perfect sense. 

So, I went over to Jennifer's house to play. She lived across a major street and down a block, so it wasn't too far, but it also wasn't normally where I went. It wasn't like going through the hole in the fence to Shauna's house. Jennifer's mom worked, so the house was left to us for the taking. The problem was that we played outside at her house most of the time, so we couldn't have heard the phone ring, even if it had. 

I don't remember the details exactly, but I remember walking home, and as I looked both ways to cross the busy street I remember seeing Mom sitting outside of our house on the front porch steps. It was unusual. Mom was busy all the time. If she wasn't teaching school or running errands or cooking or cleaning the house, she was serving others or working in some other way to make the world a better place. She was NEVER just sitting outside on the front porch steps. 

Now, remember, this was the "old days" before cell phones were even an idea. 

As I came across the street, I hollered out to her. "Mom! Hi!" And then I realized something was really wrong. If it had been possible, there would have been steam coming out of her ears. I approached her and she said, calmly (which should have been my first clue I was in deep, deep trouble), "Katherine Janae, where have you been?" Uh oh. Full name usage. Put me in jail now and throw away the keys. "Over at Jennifer's house," I managed to say. 

And then she teared up a little as she explained that she'd been looking for me for almost three hours. She'd called everyone she could think of to call. Nobody had seen me. Nobody had talked to me. My siblings didn't know where I was. Dad didn't know where I was, but he was out looking for me, and they had decided to call the police if he hadn't found me by the time he returned home. My aunts and uncles and cousins that lived nearby hadn't seen me and didn't know where I was. She was at her wit's end and thought I'd been kidnapped - or worse. I tried to explain that I thought I'd make it home before her, etc. (As a kid, I was terrible with time. I got that from Dad. Now that I'm older, I have a pretty good sense about what time it is, even without looking at a clock. I get that from Mom. Guess that means I'm a pretty good 50/50 mix, huh?) 

We went in the house, Dad finally came home, everything seemed tense, but nothing was said about punishment, so I was living in mortal fear of what would happen. The rest of that afternoon was a blur, but then as we were getting ready to go to bed, Mom called me into their room and said she and Dad had come up with my punishment. I would need to write the following 100 times on a piece of paper: "I will never go anywhere again without asking Mom and Dad for permission first." At five years old, that was a LOT of writing. I probably cried and said how sorry I was and please forgive me and on and on. 

The next day was a Saturday. I got up early to watch cartoons. Dad was awake and getting ready for work. He asked if I had started on my 100 sentences. I said no, so he got me a piece of paper and a pencil and said to get started. Dad could make me crumble in tears by looking at me the wrong way, so I obviously did what he said. I didn't want "the look." He left the cartoons on while I worked, and then he asked if I wanted to have eggs for breakfast with him. Yes, please! 

While Dad cooked some fried eggs with runny yolks on toast, I wrote and wrote and wrote. And used my tongue to play with a loose tooth that needed to come out, but I couldn't bear the thoughts of having yanked. Dad always yanked them out pretty quick with little pain, but that one second of grief just wasn't worth it to me. I tried to let them fall out "naturally" instead. So I continued to write my sentences and wiggle my loose tooth with my tongue while watching cartoons. 

Finally, Dad brought breakfast into me. He finished whatever he needed to do to get to work, kissed me on the head and left, and just as he walked out the door I finished my last piece of toast with the runny egg yolk on it. I always liked to try and make the yolk "burst" in my mouth without spitting any onto my plate. (Don't ask - I don't know what the big deal was.) Anyway, when I burst the yolk in my mouth, it created enough pressure on my tooth that it came loose, and I accidentally swallowed it with the yolk. I just sat there with pencil in hand wondering what I should do now that I'd swallowed my tooth. And then I kind of started to freak out. By then, Mom was up and getting ready for the day, and when she came into the family room where I was watching TV she saw me crying. 

Looking back, she probably thought I was crying over the punishment of having to write 100 sentences of the same thing. But before she could even ask what was wrong I said, "I swallowed my tooth! Is it because I was naughty yesterday? What will happen now? Will I die?" Bless my mother for not laughing directly at my face. I'm sure she wanted to - more than once! Instead, she reassured me that my tooth was not forever lost, but we wouldn't be looking for it (smart move, Madre), and maybe if I left a note for the tooth fairy she would see about leaving me a quarter. (Yeah, you kids that get $5/tooth these days? Ridiculous. Even with inflation, you shouldn't be getting more than $1 a tooth! Count your blessings.) 

I finished my sentences later that same day. I worked all day on that piece of paper. I'd even tred to make it look nice, so if I messed up I'd erase it as good as possible and start the sentence over. I remember how much my hand hurt, but I also remember being really grateful that I wasn't going to die because I'd swallowed my tooth. Plus, I was glad to know that swallowing my tooth had nothing to do with my disobedience. Somehow, I'd connected the lost tooth and swallowing it with going to Jennifer's house and not leaving a note. 

I'm not sure which "punishment" was worse (or more effective): writing 100 sentences of the same thing on a piece of paper, or swallowing a loose tooth with egg yolks. Either way, the lesson remained with me, and I never went anywhere again without asking Mom and Dad first or without leaving them a note explaining where I was, who I was with, and when I'd likely be back. 

Isn't it funny the associations you make as a kid? To this day, I can't eat a runny egg yolk without thinking of that experience. It's really kind of ridiculous!

For the Love of Netflix and Amazon Prime

As part of my "winding down" process every night, I turn on the Roku and watch a little TV. I know, I know - "they" say it's bad to have the TV on right before you go to sleep or to use electronic devices, etc. Supposedly, you're better off lying in a dark room of complete silence in order to go to sleep. It just doesn't work for me. After a long day at work, the last thing that will turn my brain off is a quiet room and darkness. That kind of situation will ultimately make my brain start a whirlwind of what-ifs and whys and hows. And then, no matter how tired I am or how sleepy my eyes are, I won't be able to sleep until I've resolved all the world's problems, including finding a solution for world peace and world hunger. That is not an over-dramatization either. Believe me when I tell you how difficult it is to shut my brain off and actually sleep. 

Instead of obeying what "they" say, I turn on the TV instead, watch something silly or light, let my eyes get sleepy, and then just as I'm starting to nod off, I turn the TV off and settle in for the night. It generally works great, and I find that I sleep better because my brain is not solving major problems, mulling over the day's news of catastrophes that I can't fix, and creating spreadsheets or sets of data to show how we can fix poverty and solve homelessness. Heavenly Father has a big job. I don't know how He does it. 

Lately, there are a few fun things I've found to watch on Netflix and Amazon Prime. Some might say it's a waste to pay for both, but sometimes there are shows only one of them will carry. Besides, I buy enough from Amazon every year that the membership pays for itself in free shipping, so it's like I don't even pay to watch TV there. I thought it would be fun to write down what I've been watching (for my own future reference). These are probably shows I'd watch again in the daylight. Some would even be worthy of buying the series if I could afford it. But who knows when DVDs and Blu-ray will suddenly be extinct? It's a risk I haven't been able to take yet, although I do own some series on DVD because they are priceless (such as As Time Goes By - how I love a British series!). 

Here's what I've been watching lately (in no particular order): 

Eureka (which should have an exclamation point, I think)

This show is quirky and silly and funny and fun, and I really like watching it. It was only on Amazon Prime for a short time, so I'll have to buy it if I want to re-watch any of it (actually, I think the 4th and 5th seasons are still free, but if you don't see the first three seasons it will mean nothing). The characters are kind of ridiculous, but it's fun to be in their world where all the smart people are lumped into one city and chaos ensues. Plus, it's hilarious to me that Colin Ferguson (The Marshal, aka The Sheriff) is the guy that plays in the Maytag commercials. I didn't connect those dots until recently, and it made me chuckle to see him as the Maytag guy. 

Alphas

I love this show! And it's been canceled (I think). It's kind of a neat concept though. Basically, the characters all have some sort of super power. They're under the guidance of one man who kind of leads them and helps them use their super powers for good. The acting is really good, and I enjoyed the character development. I love the guy that plays an autistic man. It gives some idea of what goes on in the brains of those smart people who just don't relate as well socially. 

Longmire

A&E totally screwed up when they canceled this series, and I hope some other network will pick it up in the near future and continue on. Dad would have loved this show. I still need to watch the last season (which just became available on Netflix, I think). The acting is incredible. The character of Sheriff Longmire is so bruised and beaten; it's a miracle he can get out of bed every day. I also like how they interact with the Indian nations of Wyoming and address some of today's issues and concerns with that culture. The characters really show what it might be like for American Indians today as they're still dealing with problems stemming from long ago. 

Warehouse 13

This show is just silly. It's also been canceled, I think. It cracks me up to think that there might actually be a warehouse somewhere that houses all the gone-wrong patents and other paraphernalia that causes the world to rotate incorrectly on its axis. And the little gizmo that they talk to each other on while on the job? Too funny. Even though there have been some intense moments in this show, it's mostly just a light-hearted adventure for me. 

Law & Order SVU

A classic! I have loved this show from the very beginning, and although it's not really a bedtime kind of TV show, I can watch the episodes of this show over and over. Marathons on TV? Yes, please! I will admit that I liked it better when Elliott was there because he and Olivia were the best combination of partners in every way. It's kind of neat now, though, that Olivia is the new captain and gets to guide her teammates on some serious cases. Not since S. Epatha Merkerson was a captain in the original Law & Order have I enjoyed a woman in a roll as intense as this one. Criminal Minds takes a close second with their female cast, and NCIS comes in close as well, but SVU takes the cake for strong female leads. 

On the note of Criminal Minds and NCIS, Criminal Minds only had a few seasons on Netflix (that I could find), and many of those were from their Suspect Behavior series, which I have yet to get into. I really wish one of them would pick up NCIS (another show I could watch over and over again), but I hear CBS is a little grumpy about giving up their best and highest rated show. I get it. But don't you think they'd have even more following if those who don't have TV could watch the show via streaming? My bet is they'd see another boost in ratings, but whatever CBS. 

And that's what I've been watching lately! I noticed that Cheers, Frasier, The Wonder Years, and Friends are all on Netflix and/or Amazon Prime as well, so I won't go without something to put me to sleep for a long time, and I'm good with that! 

What I'd Do if I Won the Lottery

This is a post that will probably change a million times before it's final final. The reason for that is not because I keep thinking of other ways to spend the money, but because I'm torn over what I would give away and how much and when and ... gah! It stresses me out, and the money isn't even real! Imagine if the money were real. I'd be a wreck. 

But there are some things I would like to do if I won the lottery. In no particular order, here they are (another list!): 

Donate to Humanitarian Aid and other welfare-based charities
Retire early (I'd do this after a few years so I'd know how the money had "settled") 
Design and build a house - a one level house that would be easy to get around in old age (the plans are already in my head, just need the cash to do it)
Buy property (like, 25 acres) 
Adopt or buy more dogs
Spend a lot of time researching a successful way to build/run/manage a homeless shelter
Do Family History
Travel (in order to do Family History, of course)
Learn how to make my own cheese, yogurt, etc. 
Grow a HUGE garden
Maybe even make a community garden (fun, right?) 
Take all sorts of college courses on whatever topics I wanted
Make a gazillion quilts
Have a library in my house
Have an outdoor kitchen
Make sure each of my siblings had a home that was paid off and a vehicle (or two) that was paid off
Pay for a funeral plan and buy a cemetery plot
Make an iron-clad will
Volunteer at schools to help kids learn to read and write
Tutor for free
Make my own bread
Cook and cook and cook and bake and cook and bake and bake
Buy ATVs so I could ride with Mom
Learn photography and buy a very nice camera
Have an indoor gym and an outdoor tennis/basketball court
Make pajama pants for every family every year for Christmas
Write, write, write, write, write
Maybe even write a book
Buy an iMac so I can write a book
Projects, projects, projects - I could project every day
Do a lot of reading and studying
Visit the temples around the world
Build a cabin and property in the mountains so we have a family time share
Have a paved walking/running trail around my property
Have a built-in fire pit station
Plant a lot of trees
Grow fruit!
Eat better - a lot better because of all the cooking and baking
Regularly make homemade ice cream
Make my own pasta - with my Kitchenaid Mixer and all its handy tools and attachments
Join or create clubs (book club, sewing club, quilting club, etc.) 
Make my own curtains
Take a few classes in interior decoration/design
Start a scholarship fund in memory/honor of my mom and dad
Get healthy and stay healthy
Exercise every day (lots of dogs = lots of walking)
Have a projector and a white screen so we can watch movies outside
Take the family to Disney World - all expenses paid by me
Have a totally awesome two year supply of food, water, and whatever else
Find a place to put a barn (because I like them)
Build a pergola
Share my garden crops with family and neighbors
Maybe learn to ride a horse (the thought actually scares me as much as I'd love to do it) 
Pay off the homes (or buy homes for) a few of my very close friends
Live debt free (after the government sucked me dry paying off student loans, of course)
Make my own weed killer and perfect it (dang dandelions!)
Learn how to knit and crochet (but I don't know how much coordination it would take or if I have enough of it to manage)
Build up the town library with books, magazines, etc. 
Start my own newspaper or magazine
Learn how to make pottery
Paint ceramics
Be organized (oh please let me win the lottery just for this one!) 
Make a play house out of an Airstream trailer
Install a playground (a big one) on my property for the neighbor kids
Stay busy with civic stuff and be involved in the community
Maybe teach some music courses (big maybe - not sure if I'd enjoy this or not) 
Spend every minute I possibly could with Mom
Have enough money, time, and strength to take care of Mom in her "old age", or provide the means for someone highly qualified to do it

That's a long list, I know. Basically, I just want to do good and have the time to do good. I'd retire, yes, but I'd live a VERY full life and not just sit around being dull or boring. A lot of good comes from donating, so I definitely want to do that, but I think more good comes from actually doing. I want to get out there and do good. Learning is also important, so that would be at the top of my list. Never stop learning. 

The thing about winning the lottery is that you could let it all go to your head, blow all that money on cars or gambling or whatever, and never accomplish good in the world around you. That's what happens to a lot of people. There's even a well-known curse on lottery winners that most of them end up going bankrupt. For me, I want to have nice things (as in secure things, e.g. a nice home), but I'd like to spend my time learning, growing, and doing. 

Think how much a community garden could benefit a neighborhood, especially if some of those neighbors were really struggling to eat (much less eat well) and what that good food would do for them and their families. The idea would be that I pay for what is planted and provide the property to grow it, but each family that wants to participate has their own little "plot" to care for. If they let it become overgrown with weeds they lose their portion. If they care for it and love it and encourage its growth, they reap the rewards when it's time to harvest. It's an "earn your keep" mentality, but also provides a way for the earning to be there for some people. It's just a cool idea I've been mulling over for years. 

Same thing with the homes and vehicles for my siblings. I would want them to always have a place that they owned outright. And, of course, I'd want them to have a vehicle that was new and capable of getting where they needed when they needed to get there. I would want reliability for them, not just for me. 

I realize much of these would take a lot of money to accomplish, but many of them would require mostly just time and effort. If I won the lottery and retired, I'd definitely have the time to put in the effort to make them happen. And a lot of lives could be blessed from that time and those efforts. How many people can afford to volunteer at a school? Not many, but it would be so much fun! Those kids would be able to teach you so much. What you could teach them would be invaluable as well. It's a win-win. And I'd love to do that kind of thing. 

Wishful thinking, right? You can't win unless you play, right? All true, but it's fun to imagine what I could or would do! All good things, I hope. For now, I'll keep dreaming. 

My Name by the Decade

A friend of mine sent me this link:  http://time.com/3856405/baby-name-popularity/#

You fill it out with your name, the year you were born, and your gender. From there, it gives the popularity of your name for the year you were born, and then gives the name in each decade that matched the popularity. So if your name was the 32nd most popular in the year you were born, it would give you the 32nd most popular name in each of the decades. Kind of fun to see! 

My list went like this: 
Name today would be Aurora (ew, ew, ew ... and sorry to any Auroras out there) 
2000s would be Nancy (really?)
1990s would be Jacquelyn
1980s would be Yvonne
1970s would be Tonia
1960s would be Grace (I like!)
1950s would be Francine
1940s would be Irma
1930s would be Maggie (cute!)
1920s would be Angeline
1910s would be Johnnie
1900s would be Rena (huh?) 
And 1890s would be Sue

It's kind of interesting to see how the trends go. 

Now, if I put in my real name my list would be like this: 
Name today would be Gabriella
2000s would be Briana
1990s would be Kristina
1980s would be Kristy
1970s would be Kristen
1960s would be Gloria
1950s would be Doris (Day?!)
1940s would be June
1930s would be Beatrice
1920s would be Marian
1900s would be Beulah (no, no, no!)
1900s would be Maude
1890s would be Lydia (pretty!)

Fun, huh? So, then I put in my middle name just for the heck of it. (The middle name that I really have, but that the government doesn't recognize? Yeah, that one.) And this is how that list went:
Name today would be Martha
2000s would be Viridiana (excuse me?) 
1990s would be Dianne
1980s would be Anitra (what the?) 
1970s would be Spring (um ... that's a season ...) 
1960s would be Goldie (Hawn?!) 
1950s would be Fredia
1940s would be Maxcine (the spelling?)
1930s would be Eilene
1920s would be Leocadia (are you kidding me right now?)
1910s would be Gayle
1900s would be Nezzie
1890s would be Rutha

You can just start calling me Nezzie now, thank you. 

And finally, if I went by my Dad's nickname for me, the list would look like this: 
Name today would be Nova (as in Super?)
2000s would be Aimee
1990s would be Kala (the spelling ... again)
1980s would be Wendi
1970s would be Lesa
1960s would be Clare
1950s would be Leola
1940s would be Nedra
1930s would be Augusta (kind of cool)
1920s would be Elsa (Anna's sister, you know - see Frozen, the movie)
1910s would be Claudie
1900s would be Winnifred
1890s would be Albertine

And Nezzie wins! Coolest name ever. Long live the Nezzter! 

Margarine (or, as it's sometimes called, Oleo)

Please don't judge me. I know (now) that it's strange I did this, but in reality a lot more people have done it than I ever could have imagined. The discussion has come up in some pretty random settings, and the people who have admitted to doing the same thing I did as a kid seem fairly normal and well-adjusted. Lest you think I was strange .... 

As a kid, we never had butter in the house. It was always margarine. Maybe butter was too expensive? Or maybe it wasn't as readily available as it is today? I don't know the reasons, but I do know that Dad often complained (or lamented the fact) that we never had real butter in the house. I didn't know the difference, and I remember when I first tasted butter I thought it was gross. Now, the thoughts of eating margarine make me want to gag. I might cook with it if a recipe calls for it, but if I can replace it with butter instead, I will. Butter = better. And now I know why Dad lamented. 

Anyway, we usually left the margarine out instead of keeping it refrigerated so it was soft and didn't rip our bread. This makes me think we also ate a lot of grilled cheese sandwiches. I hate it when the bread rips! 

One particular day, I was left to my own devices, and the margarine was out, so I stuck my finger in and had a lick. And deemed it good. So I had another lick. And another. And pretty soon that stick of margarine was gone. (Don't ask. I'm dry heaving and gagging as I typed that out.) And, like a responsible child, I threw the wrapper away. No evidence! 

Later, Mom came in the kitchen (probably to make dinner) and needed the margarine for something (grilled cheese sandwiches?), and it wasn't there. She asked me if I knew where the margarine was, and I said no. She went about making dinner, adjusted for the hard margarine instead of the soft, and things were fine. 

Until she went to throw something in the trash and saw the wrapper. 

UH OH. 

And then I admitted my horrible deed. I can't remember, but I'm sure she probably looked at me like I was an alien from some foreign planet existing outside of the Milky Way. Or it might have just been a look of disgust. Because who eats just plain margarine?

A lot of people, I tell ya! A LOT! 

Today, I don't do that. I'm smarter. More refined. And when nobody is looking, I might actually steel a little lick of butter. Not margarine. That's just gross. But butter? Mmmm. That's good stuff. 

Thank you, Dad, for refining my palate. 

And thank you, Mom, for keeping me after I ate the margarine. I'm sorry. It won't happen again.